As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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