So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
