i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
