She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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