even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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