You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
