"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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