Sponge bath it is.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
