Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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