I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
