Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
