hotel room ftw
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
