Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
