I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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