Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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