She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
