apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
