Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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