I must be too annoying 4 u.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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