you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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