If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
