he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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