I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
no, he came in my armpit
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
