We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
