I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
