Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize