That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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