so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
