Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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