Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
