I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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