I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
