Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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