paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
