It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
