Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
