JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
