my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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