i jhust puked up my retainher.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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