The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize