My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
