i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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