i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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