Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize