okay pat passed out under dana's car
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
