I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
