One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
