did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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