shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize
