what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
