i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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