And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
not ubering you a puppy
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
