i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
