i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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