Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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