My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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