I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
