so explain again why im purple
no
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
