I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
