Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
