First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
