why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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