do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Still dying that you shit outside
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We need to get me chipped asap
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
