I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
