my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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