Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you had me at cake vodka
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize