Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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